diff --git a/content/blog/2021/05/2021-05-02--personal-transformation.md b/content/blog/2021/05/2021-05-02--personal-transformation.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ea019d --- /dev/null +++ b/content/blog/2021/05/2021-05-02--personal-transformation.md @@ -0,0 +1,136 @@ +--- +title: A personal transformation +author: Yarmo Mackenbach +slug: personal-transformation +date: "2021-05-02 15:19:55" +published: true +discussion: +--- + +I'd like to share a few insights I gained during the last few months. + +## What happened + +First, a bit of background. For a while now, I have been feeling unproductive and unsure how to improve the situation. + +That's it, really. Whether it's adapting to a post-academia lifestyle or learning to work from home, I knew I was doing +something wrong. I could spend days waiting for my head to clear up, then start working again to finally notice after +a few days that my head was foggy once more. + +The frustrating part was that I knew how to be productive. For a little over four years, academia pushed me up to (and +beyond) the limit of my mental capacity for working. + +I knew the post-academia recovery was still ongoing, but I felt that didn't explain the whole picture. I lacked +understanding of what was going on, so I started making a few changes of my own and educating myself. The Dunning-Kruger +effect was not going to keep me in my state of ignorance. + +## My own changes + +I picked up intensive bullet journaling again. While this saved my mental health during my PhD, it did little for my +post-PhD predicament. Apparently, the problem was deeper than simply freeing my head from the burden of remembering +stuff. + +I picked up more hobbies but found myself more often feeling guilty of giving in to those hobbies rather than spending +time on what I wanted to do: being productive. + +It was also during this phase of exploring possible actions that I formulated a wish: I wanted to go abroad for a month +or two to a quiet location, take nothing but a bunch of clothes and my Thinkpad X201i and just start hammering away on +the keys. To my frustration, I could not provide arguments as to why I was yearning for this. I got no further than +"fully reset my lifestyle, go back to basic, build a new method and take those lessons back home". It sounds reasonable +but, well, knowing what I know now… + +I scouted for a few locations where I already knew some people but a wish it remained. The pandemic. Safety above all. + +And in the midst of fearing my situation was lightyears away from improving, I stumbled upon two little words on some +small personal blog, a drop of wisdom easily overlooked in a vast knowledge-overloaded internet. + +## Educating myself + +I had started reading a few books but so far none had resonated with me—none, until that one book. I was reading a blog post when I got puzzled by a couple of words (paraphrasing because I lost the link to the post): + +> [...] compatible with the concept of **deep work**, [...] + +Thank all the deities for being it precisely those two words that my brain decided to fixate on! A quick non-google +search later and I found the book the words were referring to: +**Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World** by Cal Newport. A DRM-free purchase later and I started +my read. + +It was after barely a few pages that I decided to not go the same route as with the other books by reading a chapter +every day and steadily progress through the book—I am generally a very slow reader. No, instinct told me stop all the +work I was doing and completely focus all my attention on this book. + +The reason for this was simple: the book almost directly begins with talking about people choosing to travel to remote +locations to help them become productive. I suddenly realized this book might actually articulate the arguments I +couldn't when I was planning my wishful trip. + +It still took me a couple of days, spending time inbetween chapters to think and re-reading a few chapters. But I came +out of the isolation a changed person. + +## Deep Work + +Let's make something clear, I am not here to sell you this book. As the other books didn't work for me, this one might +not for you. I am not here to tell you how to fix your productivity, I am simply stating a few steps that have worked for me +so far. + +The book goes on to explain how important it is to work without distractions. And, as the book correctly predicted, my +reaction was: + +> Well, that doesn't really apply to me. + +A statement which I somewhat still stand by. When I worked, I did not have my phone with me. Depending on the work I was +doing, I would put on some music or a stream, but would turn that off if my brain needed the extra focus. So, I was +already golden, right? + +Not only could I improve my handling of distractions and planning of work, the book filled in some large gaps in my +understanding of how work works. I will point out two of those wisdom potholes that the book has generously filled. + +## Types of work + +Not all work is created equal. Somehow, I had never stopped to consider this and use this factoid to my advantage. While +I often found myself torn between programming and responding to issues, I never considered these two activities are not +equal and therefore, I should not choose between them. There is a time for programming (deep work) and there is a time +for responding to issues (shallow work). Shallow work is not "dumb work", it just requires my head to be in a different +state than it needs to be when programming. + +## Quantity of deep work hours + +My biggest revelation, the one that truly convinced me of the logic put forth in the book and the one that triggered all +that followed was this (paraphrasing for brevity): + +> The most productive people in the world have roughly **four hours** of deep work every day, rarely more. + +This, I did not understand. I immediately started mentioning it to people around me and they said "yeah, makes sense". +I refused the notion that this made sense. How do you get stuff done with only four hours? + +## My take-away + +Anyway, long story short: not all work is created equal and be mindful about the deep work. Once I got these concepts +in my head, my situation improved drastically within days. + +Out with the old "as long as I am not tired, I can work a little longer" and in with the careful planning of my days around +deep work hours. + +I will sit down every morning with my bullet journal, draw a timeline and start planning an ideal day around the work +that needs to happen, making sure that both the shallow works gets dedicated time, and the deep work hours are spaced +with sufficient breaks. I get annoyed when I find myself working a few minutes longer and stealing precious minutes of +mental rest. + +I have even ignored my planning a few times to force work ahead of a deadline, only to notice the next day +I was feeling significantly more foggy-headed and unable to work deep. Bad me! At least, I now know what went wrong and +how I can improve it. + +## Note about distractions + +To deal with distractions, I took two drastic steps right after finishing the book's last page: no more fediverse, and +only use messaging apps between 9:00-10:00 and 17:00-18:00. This helped tremendously in my quest for productivity! + +With regards to messaging apps: I still roughly follow this pattern. On resting days, I will allow a bit more +"connected" time (helpful with family across multiple countries). + +With regards to fediverse: I have noticed that it's a part of my life that I am beginning to miss, because +(most of the time) it generated a pleasant distraction and even connection. I have had truly meaningful interactions on +the fediverse. I have even received messages from a few concerned netizens that noticed and were worried about my sudden +online disappearance, something that I have appreciated a bunch! So now, I am slowly returning to the fediverse, aware +of the negative side of distraction, and whole-heartedly embracing its benefits. + +Thanks for reading, here's to hoping it may help another wandering soul. \ No newline at end of file